Friday, July 25, 2003

yeah the verdict is out. we lost. cried my balls out immediately aft that, couldnt help it. was alr sobbing on stage once they announced the 2 words i hate most at the moment - 'anglo-chinese...' then every1 arnd me just sparked. it was at this moment that the fire in our hearts just died man. extinguished. i lost faith.

anyway. shall not talk about this liao. lets move on to an even more morbid subject.

woke up at 10+ this morning to valerie's call. she gave me the worst news. justina committed suicide last nite. at first i thought it was a joke, some sort of morbid prank. then i realised tt it wasnt fake, that she really took her own life. everything just fell apart loh. still havent gotten over the loss last nite, like a persistent hangover, then im suddenly dealt w a 2nd blow. kept thinking abt her the whole day.

decided 2 go school to get my mind off things, seeing e choir peeps made me happier. slacked arnd choir rm frm 1+ until 7+. ok lah not all the time. walked arnd w hongyi aft sch to check out piano ens rehearsal, sufian's maiden soccer match against yr2 soccer guys [sufian's team was down 0-2] and basically walking arnd. eating twisties n drinking snapple.

went back to choir rm some more. slacked arnd. then at 6+, weiliat n elaine came.. he started singing an jing. then shi jie mo ri. that was when i went outside to call val.. n i started crying, tearing. couldnt stop. kept thinking about justina's death, how it hit so close to my heart. went toilet to wipe my tears, didnt want the choir peeps to see me crying n also din wanna spoil jiahui's bday surprise. came back ok n celebrated her bday in the grandest way.. wenjie's really sweet.

feels as though the whole world's an illusion, that death is only so surreal. feels distraught.

bro is going to army on monday.. cant believe it, he'll be back in 5 days for good cuz he's a lousy pes e, and he wont lose his hair. and his fats. wow.seeing him cry..just broke my heart.


Mrs Brightside at 9:48 pm

{xoxo}