Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Was packing up all the scholarship and overseas university stuff and pamphlets in my room and it felt weird, like i was closing a chapter of my life. At one point i almost wanted to sit down in my room and just cry, think i've held it in me for a long time now and havent been able to let it go. Guess i'm really just not cut out for it. Just not as good as I thought or wished I was.. I am right, Ren yao you zhi zhi zhi ming. Ok for those who thought that was a typo it's not. Zhi4 zhi1 zhi1 ming2. But then, if that is so, then what about dreams and hopes? And the crap that one should aim for the moon and land among the stars should he fail? How about a new adage like: "Always aim for the Moon so that if you fail you'll just fall right back to Earth and live a jiao ta shi di life."

Read an argument in an online forum (i think it was TJC's) some time back.. And someone over there commented that students studying in local universities (NUS, NTU, SMU) were rejects of overseas universities. Felt a little angry and impassioned reading that post at first, but now come to think of it, I guess it makes some sense.

Do I sound like i have extremely low self esteem? Don't get me wrong, i dont. just let me wallow in self pity for another 10 minutes.

Mrs Brightside at 12:29 am

{xoxo}