Tuesday, April 18, 2006

What is first love?

Was it the first time you liked someone and that someone liked you back?
Was it the first time you held the hand of someone you fancied?
Was it the first time you cried over your break up?
Was it the first time your heart really shattered when you broke up?
Was it the first relationship that lasted longer than 1 month?
Was your first serious relationship, your first love?

First loves are meant to be sweet and, for that moment you were together, you thought things would last forever. Thereafter, the bittersweet memories of being together will remain more than just a mere memory. It will capture the essence of youth - the part of your life that has gone by. The times spent together, the sweet nothings whispered and written, only the good stuff will be remembered. Only the good stuff will be remembered.

Why am i writing this? Well, I've found it hard to decipher what actually constitutes first love. For myself, I cant place a finger as to when exactly i had my first love. Each relationship was different and meant different things to me. The easyness of the first, the heartbreak of the second with wounds that only time could heal, the duration of the third.

What is first love? I am sad that i dont have that one beautiful memory of first love. All images of it are mere shells of the original self, bits and pieces that fit together in a misfit jigsaw. I dont have that one defining memory of my first taste of love, that would bring back all these so called bittersweet memories.

Sadly, if i were to choose, then yes. It would be the second. Where I really stumbled and tripped head over heels - and where i fell really so damn hard it sapped almost 2 years of my life. I may not be able to recall what happened, and when it did, but I guess it was truly loved and lost, through and through.

Mrs Brightside at 10:59 pm

{xoxo}