Saturday, January 27, 2007

And its the 'what do i want to do with my life' post again.

after reading isleptwithsanta.blogspot.com, reading jianhong's post about his future career path + his dreams of private equity investment, etc etc. So glamorous, so ambitious, so focused and direct and iknowwhatiwanttodowithmylife.

and what about me? its 12am and im sitting in a little dorm, on exchange alone in Germany. Im reading some German, but nothing's really getting into my head. I've had a great night of cooking curry (yum! everyone loved it) and standing in the falling snow in awe of the beautiful sight. watched photos from the dorm party last night; laughed at the quirks and funniness of drunk angmohs. and then i read jianhong's post.

so now comes the depressing part. what exactly do i want to do with my life? its a little hard to define, but even harder to keep the definition. knowing me, i have a fleeting mind and it takes a course of its own, changing every few minutes or so (in chinese: wu fen zhong re du, or 5minutes impulse). i used to think that i knew what i wanted with this life; now im not so sure.

Career? I really want to go into logistics and resource planning. Work for a logistics company, or airline/freight. I'd love that. but then again theres the safe route of accounting firm, big4. if i get to travel like xinyi jiejie that would be nice too. i dont know which one would work out better for me.

School? Ok the academic part is pretty straightforward and im sure everyone is aiming for that as well. But i think those who know me know im always trapped in this shouldidothisforresume or shouldidothisbecauseireallyloveitandjustdoit dilemma. i'd hate to do something for the sake of doing it, but many a times you dont really have a choice.

Travel? This is definitely something close to my heart. i thought i've always loved to travel and would do anything just to get out of singapore, go out there and see the world. but then after 2 weekends away from smalltown Vallendar here i've realised im not that much of a traveller. i cant live out of a suitcase and i cant do the same like the japanese ballerina that i met - going anywhere and everywhere, looking for ballet auditions, and just settling down and travelling with whichever ballet company signs her on. And she travels everywhere - 5 years in russia, another couple of years in australia, her childhood in japan. its awesome but i dont think i can lead that kind of life. when i was in munich, and even amsterdam there were times when i just wanted to go back to my little dorm in vallendar and drop my bags for a goodnights rest. i like staying put in a place and not having to move around too much. so maybe i dont like travelling as much as i thought i did. hm. tough choice.

i have tonnes more to say, but im kinda feeling sleepy now. bleh.. and to be honest, i miss singapore and everything about it. most of all, i miss having friends to share singaporean quirks with. like ruby pan (i dont think anyone here would have found it funny), and my kim chua dream, and this:




I miss the crude humour and the little things that would crack me up, that no other angmoh joke could do. i miss having someone to laugh at angmohs with. haha.. When we were in amsterdam i met this american guy who was saying that "europe's great, all the cities are beautiful and they're all unique but after awhile it kinda becomes the same. Because the history and cultures are so similar everything is more or less similar. but asia, asia's really different. asia's crazy!"

yeah, i agree. theres nothing like home - nice ladies, chou toufu and industrial parks all rolled into one :)

Mrs Brightside at 7:23 am

{xoxo}